The truth about travelling solo as a Muslim woman is that very often, despite our conservative lifestyles and religious observance, we have no other option. Although solo femaler travellers are no longer a rarity, it is not often that one finds Muslim women traveling solo, especially for leisure or adventure.
I was a single woman traveling alone at the ripe old age of 27 years old, when my dad allowed me to travel abroad alone for the first time. I obtained a working holiday visa for the United Kingdom and he only agreed because he had a niece who was living there at the time. There was nothing scary or unfamiliar about the trip because we had gone to visit her a year earlier and I would be living with her family.
In the days since then, Muslims have become both the quickest growing segment of solo travellers, as well as being most likely to be profiled as a result of our faith and dress codes.
Why and how to travel alone as a woman
If you are an observant Muslim I imagine you have already had the beginnings of an apoplectic fit at the thought of a travelling around the world as single woman. A lifetime ago I had exactly the same mindset and judgmental response to the idea of solo female travellers.
Real life has taught me that we do not always get what we want in this life, and have to do the best we can within our personal circumstances. I must confess that my adventures travelling solo as a Muslim woman came about out of necessity, more than a desire to join the hordes of lone travellers or a desperate need to ‘find myself’.
I would love to travel the world with my late mum and dad because they were the best travel companions one could wish for. I would love to spend more time exploring new places with my brother and his family because he, like my parents, is an easy going and amenable travel companion. My nephews and niece love learning new things and having new experiences and I can hardly wait until they are old enough to travel with me.
I would love to share the romance of Paris or the delicacies of George Town with a husband, but I may never be destined to have one. So for now I have to make the best of my situation, and that means plucking up the courage and learn how to travel alone as a woman. I had to face my fears and test my own physical and mental limits by travelling solo with no one but myself to rely on.
I have been living in Dubai for more than a decade and have no relatives here to accompany me, making solo travelling with a purpose the only viable option. Read about the pros and cons of expat life in Dubai if you are thinking about making the move. If you have been thinking about travelling solo why not read this post listing my 5 Top destinations for solo female travelers.
The truth about travelling solo as a Muslim woman
Judgement and Condemnation
Thou shalt be judged. To your face, but mostly behind your back. Everyone and their shadow will have an opinion on your character and your life. Actions have consequences whether you are Muslim or not, and we alone are accountable for our actions. If you have opted for solo travelling then be prepared for the fallout.
Complete strangers form an opinion about you based solely on how you are dressed and think that they know you and how you relate to the world, based on whether you wear more or less fabric.
If you choose not to dress conservatively they assume that you are a woman of loose morals who won’t mind unsolicited male attention or that you must love nightclubs and bars.
If you choose to cover they assume that you are one of those… you know the stereotype. Oppressed; Meek; Submissive; Barefoot and Pregnant; Chained to the kitchen sink.
Top Tips
- Grow a thick skin, people will think and say what they want about you. If they are not your parents their opinion does not count either way, so don’t lose sleep over it.
- The amazement and wonder from Non-Muslims who have never before met a Muslim in real life, only to encounter an unmarried female travelling solo was unexpected. Many have only been exposed to the stereotypes via all media channels and learning that we are erudite and financially independent always seems like a shock. All we can do is try to be ambassadors of goodwill and clear up their misconceptions about our faith where we can.
Fear of the Unknown
My first time travelling alone in Europe was a long weekend break to Istanbul to satisfy a craving for baklava. My travel buddy had departed the country a few months before and I had no option but to embark on my baklava quest alone.
I remember walking through the air bridge from the aircraft into the arrivals terminal building, and experiencing momentary panic on my first time as a sole female traveller. I wondered what madness had caused me to embark on a solo trip to a foreign city, without any friends or local contacts to call on in case of emergency.
I was flooded with doubts and worries and it probably showed on my expression. I heard a voice asking if I needed assistance and I smiled, realising I was going to be ok.
Top Tips
- Plan, plan, plan. My article on the Top Travel Tips for any traveler has information on every aspect of a trip and will help lower the fear factor when travelling alone for the first time.
- Arrange accommodation in advance and know how you will get there from the airport, bus or train station. I prefer apartments, hotels or guest houses with private rooms and bathrooms but there are hostels that have private rooms too.
- Get a city map and keep it with you at all times, so even if you take a wrong turn you will be able to find your way to a transport hub or landmark.
- My favorite solo traveller app is Google Maps. You can download the app and plot the travel route to the destination when you have a wi-fi connection. The maps still work when you are offline and I have found them invaluable. You may find however that on occasion the maps actually give you a longer route than you actually have to take if you are walking or driving.
- Learn a few words in the local language even if it is only the customary greeting or how to say thank you. Locals appreciate the effort.
- Be cautious and trust your intuition especially when encountering over friendly locals or fellow travelers who may have ulterior motives.
Loneliness
I always remember my dad asking a married man travelling solo without his spouse whether he would not be bored on the trip through Malaysia and Singapore without her. He was adamant that he would be fine. When we saw him two weeks later he said that it was the loneliest he had ever been, and that he wished he had taken his wife along on the trip.
I am grateful every day that I have never been plagued by feelings of loneliness or isolation, despite being away from family and friends for extended periods. In the beginning when I had no friends in Dubai, I could chat to my friends online and call my mum to check on her.
To be honest, I like doing things alone. Eating out, watching a movie or even shopping. It is much less stressful than wondering if the action movie I want to watch will bore a companion or whether someone else will find my shopping habits annoying.
Top Tips
- Explore on your own and enjoy finding quirky cafes, boutiques or bookshops or browsing at local street markets.
- Keep in touch with family and friends via social media or calling them by phone or Skype.
- If all the arrangements for solo travel seem daunting, solo travel packages with reputable travel companies are a good way to get started. When you travel solo tours can be booked at the hotel or sometimes even at the city tourism office.
- Nowadays women of all ages are travelling solo and there are many options including travel groups for singles in their 20s, singles holidays for over 30s, singles holidays over 40, singles travel tours over 50 or solo travel tours for seniors.
- One way for solo travellers to stem the loneliness is to stay in hostels with other people their own age to socialise with. If you are staying in a hostel try chatting to some of the other residents and try making new friends.
- There are many solo travel websites and facebook groups where the members ask to arrange a solo traveller meetup with other females travelling solo in the city they are travelling to. Use social media to make new friends in the solo traveler destinations you are visiting and arrange to meet them for coffee. You may end up getting a free tour guide.
- Try to make connections with people who are good and kind, without any expectations.
Travel Light
On the few occasions when I was daft enough to travel with a large suitcase I always regretted it.
Heaving the suitcase up and down stairs or in and out of planes, trains and automobiles is no laughing matter when you are a single woman traveling alone. It can cause muscle spasms and strains and at least one third of the clothing will go unworn and beauty products may go unused.
If you feel comfortable wearing an abaya on a solo trip, go for it as it will reduce your ‘what do I wear today’ worries. I prefer to wear dresses or loose elasticated trousers with long tops when travelling, as it is unlikely to get caught in a closing door of a tram or under my feet when going up and down stairs.
I must confess that I have never printed an actual international packing list and keep my travelling essentials pared down.
Top Packing Tips for solo travelers
- My most important solo travel tip is to confine travel essentials to a carry on as the only piece of luggage aside from my oversized handbag. It is cabin sized and large enough to carry my clothing and skincare products. My travel beauty routine is relatively simple. Foaming gel cleanser followed by moisturizer or sunblock. In the evenings I use Bioderma micellar water cleansing wipes to remove the grime of the day.
- I always carry lip balm and lipsticks to ensure my lips don’t resemble dried fruit after a day in the sun. Another must have is a travel make-up set that doesn’t take up too much space.
- My laptop and camera are small enough to fit into an oversized handbag.
- I have a few essential things to pack for travelling, the most important being a pair of comfortable shoes for walking. At most I may take one other pair for dinner or special occasions.
- Ensure that tops and skirts or trousers can be mixed and matched and that they fall within the same color spectrum. This will reduce the number of clothing items as well as matching head coverings and handbags required.
- Pack clothes that don’t require ironing or that can be worn after a few minutes of steam after your shower.
- Lay out what you think you need, then reduce it by a third.
- Always pack a hat to protect your face from sun exposure during summer. This can usually be worn over a head covering without compromising on style.
- Always pack a small fold-able umbrella especially if you are traveling to numerous cities within a geographical region as the weather patterns may differ.
Do not judge a book by it’s cover
On a trip to the UK for a bloggers conference during early Autumn a few years ago, I made the mistake of packing way too much. Instead of my usual carry-on size trolley bag I opted to take the one a size up to accommodate bulky cold weather clothes. Many of the older transportation hubs do not have elevators or escalators and the thought of carrying the heavy case up and down weighed on my mind.
Yet every time I was faced with a flight of stairs, a stranger was at hand to assist. With a ‘Let me help you with that love’ or a ‘Can I grab that for you’ they whisked my heaving bag up or down the flight of stairs as if it were a feather.
How often have I heard the phrase ‘Don’t judge a book by it’s cover’? These were not men that I knew, and not a single one of them were even Muslim. They were all white British men who reached out to help a brown skinned foreign woman.
By the same token, I had a very strange experience on a vaporetto in Venice. I sat down next to an older woman who immediately stood up and went to sit on the opposite side of the boat. I had showered and dressed in clean clothes less than an hour before, so was not emanating any foul odors. The unwarranted look of disdain and contempt on this stranger’s face brought tears to my eyes.
Top Tips
- Don’t believe everything you read in the media. Most people won’t judge you based on the color of your skin or the covering on your head.
- Strangers will surprise you with their kindness, be thankful for that.
- Strangers will surprise you with their unkindness, be grateful for that, for your tears of pain and sadness are a blessing.
Knowing your tribe
In the transliteration of Surah Ahzab verse 33 of the Qur’an, Allah says:
O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to bring down over themselves [part] of their outer garments. That is more suitable that they will be known and not abused. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful.
This verse and others in the Qur’an have been used by many in the media and mainstream Islamophobes to ridicule and further enforce the stereotypes of Muslim women. We are often portrayed as subservient and downtrodden possessions in overbearing patriarchal societies where we are forced into silence or militant radicalism.
My experience travelling solo as a Muslim woman has given me a completely new appreciation for my faith and my simple head covering. When I step out into the world I am immediately identifiable and known as a Muslim woman by the way that I dress. I try to conduct myself in a manner that does not bring humiliation and shame to myself or cast people of my faith in a bad light.
Top Tips
- Good manners and a pleasant countenance go a long way to making new friends. Be cautious though, because it may be misconstrued as being open to idle chatter or flirtation.
- Do not be surprised when strangers are respectful and even deferential. It’s that headscarf I tell you! Most respectable un-related men know to keep their distance and watch their language around a Muslim woman.
- Don’t freak out as I did (silently), when a Muslim stranger in Florence struck up a conversation with me on a park bench. You can read all about it in my Florence travel guide to survive the beige.
- Just because you don’t see the outward expression of faith on others, does not mean another Muslim will not recognize you. Be prepared to pleasantly surprised when common courtesy and consideration are met with an unexpected ‘Asalaamu Alaykum’, the standard greeting of peace amongst Muslims.
Food Options
I stressed so much before my vacation to Italy, knowing it would be hard to find halal food and wondering how I would cope with my gluten intolerance in a land renowned for pizza and pasta.
Top Tips
- Mobile halal apps assist with finding halal establishments like cafes or restaurants in the city specified. I have used the Zabiha app for iPhone and found it to be useful and accurate.
- Vegan and vegetarian food is an option in many places that do not cater for Muslims.
- Eggs, yogurt and seafood dishes are good protein substitutes when halal meat or chicken is not available.
- When booking food tours or tours where meals are included, always remember to specify food restrictions clearly at the time of booking. I always indicate in the notes that I do not eat pork or other non-halaal meats, and no alcohol. Thus far the food tour operators have been very accommodating and ensured that vegetarian and alcohol free substitutes were provided. On the one tour where my food restrictions could not be accommodated (Singapore) this was communicated beforehand and full refund made.
Washroom facilities or the lack thereof
Very few public toilets outside of the Gulf countries have toilet hoses or bidets to perform the ritual cleansing after using the toilet. My favorite solo traveler destinations include Italy and Malaysia because very few private or public toilets are without one or the other.
Top Tips
- Carry an empty disposable water bottle to use in public toilets.
- In South East Asia many establishments have traditional flat toilets with a small jug and tap. Ensure that your clothing is tucked in to prevent it getting soiled or soaked when using the facilities.
- In places where there are water restrictions it would be advisable to carry anti-bacterial wet wipes.
What I gained travelling solo as a Muslim woman
- Asserting my independence and self sufficiency at a time when Muslim women have been stereotyped as subservient and downtrodden chattels.
- I have learned resilience because travelling solo challenges my abilities and my mental and physical limits.
- By working through the challenges encountered on my travels and finding solutions I have become more resourceful, courageous and confident with every small victory.
- I have learned to appreciate the benefits of financial security and stability and to be less wasteful. There is nothing like having 15 euros in your pocket to teach the lesson of thriftiness.
- What I love the most about being identifiable when travelling solo as a Muslim woman are the greetings of salaam and smiles of acknowledgement that make a new city feel less alien. From the young mother walking her infant on a residential street to the older lady doing her grocery shopping. We recognize and know each other as part of the same community that transcends race, kinship, borders and nationality.
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Thank you so much for sharing your experiences traveling as a Muslim woman. I found this post to be very honest, vulnerable, compassionate, and informative – and simply a great read. Also, I’m sorry about what happened to you in Venice, though I’m glad that you were able to honor your emotions after that incident, and share your empowering message with your readers. Wonderful post, Razena 🙂
Such an interesting post to read, thank you so much for sharing it with us. I admire your courage so much, its not easy travelling solo and certainly not easy when some people can be so judgemental – I’m so sorry to hear about the lady in Venice. Great post for all to read x
This is a great and heartfelt post. I always imagined it was tough for a Muslim woman to travel alone. I hope you continue to see more of the world.
Somehow Muslim women are exposed to a higher level of danger when we travel alone, by virtue of being identifiable as a Muslim. With so many places in the world becoming an unsafe space for Muslims in general and Muslim women in particular.
“Thou shalt be judged” – how true! This is a very important post in the conversation of solo female travel, Razena. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, your experiences and your tips. How right in saying that many people can be exposed to a stereotype through media channels. This is why travel is important. Keep up the good work.
You are most welcome 🙂 It is 2018 but women are still made to feel as if we are not enough, as if we need to have our heads read when we want to be independent and have experiences out in the world.
What a fantastic post! It was strong yet so much from bottom of the heart. More power to you and hope you are able to visit solo to many more countries!
Thank you Ketki for the kinds words. We all have different experiences when we travel and some of those are definitely because we may not fit the norm. I hope that the future holds many more adventures for us both 🙂
A great read, Razena! I do face difficulties at times when I’m traveling. Mostly, it’s the non-halaal options, but we decide to become pescatarians then 🙂
Thank you Sarah, I am happy you found it entertaining. I had some of the best meals in Italy that had not a shred of meat or chicken. The seafood was wonderfully fresh and tasty and who could resist a slice of chickpea flour pancake?
Thanks for sharing your travel experience. I agree, Muslim travellers have few options which is supposed to be not. But recently, many travel companies are seeing the Muslim community as a huge market, and now starting build many options to cater the growing market.
You are most welcome. I have been reading about how the Thai market is becoming more halaal friendly and learning from the Japanese about how to cater for Muslim travellers. They even have an alcohol free hotel in Bangkok. My home city of Cape Town has a sizable Muslim population and a few years ago the local government decided to make Muslim travellers a target group for marketing.
I’m sorry to hear about your experience. I’m also traveling solo but I didn’t realize how hard it is to travel as a Muslim woman. That’s so brave of you. It really takes courage and confidence. I tried to travel with a Muslim friend in Korea. We spent a lot of time looking for Halal friendly restaurants. I hope there will be more vegetarian restaurants around.
Until my trip to Italy I had always made sure that I was in a country with a significant muslim population so that finding halaal food would not be an issue. In the end it wasn’t an issue at all, even though I didn’t eat any meat or chicken until I reached my fourth city on the trip and found a Turkish kebab shop. I wish I had found the app before that but even then I wasn’t actually starving. There was more than enough seafood, vegetarian and vegan food that I could fill up on.
I love this post. Thank you for sharing
First of all, I LOVE your photography, very colourful and vibrant, and your tips for a first solo trip are great. Solo travel can be so rewarding and invigorating, I think more people should try it out! Secondly, I’m sorry to hear you are judged and condemned for being Muslim, I hate that this sort of prejudice still exists 🙁
Thank you for your kinds words! I have been trying to improve my photography since I started blogging and hopefully it is finally starting to show. I agree, more people should try travelling solo because it really is quite fun. Unfortunately the prejudice against Muslims and even people who are perceived to be Muslim because they are brownskinned has only gotten worse over the years. It doesn’t help when people in positions of power are the ones whipping up the anti-muslim sentiment to advance their own agendas.
I have Muslim friends so I’m aware of some of the customs. Your post gives a very useful insight into your perspective. Thank you.
You are most welcome Steven. Most Muslim families are close knit, and if they are like mine, then all the aunts and uncles share the same concern and affection for their nieces and nephews that they do for their own kids.
Muslim or not, travelling alone if you are woman it might the best or the worst. I’ve had the greatest and the worst times myself.
You’re an incredible woman and an amazing writer! Never stop traveling 🙂
You are too kind with your praise. I often wish I could write beautifully flowing prose but my style seems to be more conversational and straight forward and to the point. I hope you have many great trips ahead of you too!
You know what Razena, I’m right here with you! As a fellow female traveller (now in her 30s, but has been travellign solo for the last 3 years or so), I can empathise, sympathise and share a lot of your thoughts and views here x
I started my solo travelling in my late thirties and I think because I was older I was not as freaked out as I may have been if was 10 years younger. I loved travelling with my parents but was probably too much of a shy scaredy cat to have done it successfully as a twenty something.
You are incredible for travelling alone, I know I couldn’t do it myself and admire you for it. I’d love to get the courage to do it one day, I’m bad enough travelling to London alone.
Ami xxx
It is much less frightening when you know there is someone waiting for you at the other end. In the beginning I always made sure that I booked a hotel airport transfer so that I wouldn’t have to worry about getting from the hotel to the airport. Now I happily take public transport if it is available, whether it is the metro, bus service or taxi. I think that as with anything else in life, the more you travel the more you gain confidence in your own abilities.
Absolutely loved reading this post – your honesty is inspiring! Good on you for getting out there and traveling solo despite the negatives.
Thank you Jasmin. I think I have been blessed and very fortunate not to have had any major mishaps on any of my trips. That may just be because I am older than the average solo traveller and tend to plan everything to almost the last detail, as well as being cautious and aware of my personal safety at all times.
Faith in God & self courage is foremost as you mentioned in solo travel! Like 5 unequal fingers, humanity is full of people opinionated & liberal. Well written
Thank you.
Wow, this post was eye opening. Your post was very informative and I enjoyed reading 🙂
Thank you.
I love solo travelling. I honestly do and completely enjoy it. What I loved the most in your article was how you define each and every detail of solo travel not just for a muslim woman but also for a woman in general. I read your learning part twice because it was so engaging and most importantly, true. Have to say, great work. Thanks.
Thanks for the kind words Ridima. A few months ago I took a trip with my brother and niece and found that I really enjoyed having company and showing them the places in Istanbul that I loved. At the same time I also missed being able to structure my day without having to worry about them being bored or getting irritated with my blogging activities.
I admire anyone who travels alone, I don’t think I would have the guts to do it myself! It was interesting to read how you found it as a Muslim woman. Thank you for sharing.
You are most welcome Laura. For me it stopped being about having the guts to do it when I realised that if I didn’t do it, I would reach old age regretting not visiting all the places I had always dreamt of seeing.
Well done you for taking the plunge to travel on your own and to anyone who dares to judge you, I don’t understand what they have to be judgemental about. After all regardless of your religion, race, background, if you want to travel alone then why on earth shouldn’t you be able to? Solo travel is liberating and empowering!
I can feel how my solo travel experiences have changed my perception of myself and how I relate to others. I’m definitely not as shy as I used to be, and I no longer cringe at the thought of being in a room full of strangers.
I absolutely admire you n traveling alone too when I was 20 and its not that easy, but in my culture it is more common, well not that common, people did look me as a crazy looner, but they did not judge my religious base according to that.I’m sure that it was not easy for you and your family to expose your thoughts and traveling experience and I do think that as more woman will follow your path, people will get more acknoledge about your culture as you are right about the fact that nothing in real life as what it seems in the newspapaers . some of your pieces of advice are simply require cut print paste on the wall.
We are mostly very insular in our close knit family units and communities that we need to expand our own horizons if we expect others to know and understand where we are coming from. I laughed out loud at the cut, print paste on the wall bit. You are too sweet!
I am always intrigued by solo travel. I don’t know that I have enough courage to travel alone. I give you major props for being able to do that. I loved getting an inside look on what it is like to travel solo. I am sure it teaches you to become independent. Thank you so much for sharing!
You are most welcome! I think I have learned much from travelling alone, resilience and pushing through the pain are definitely at the top of the list.